Even growing up under a wonderfully anointed dad, I was influenced by two older brothers who were much older than the children born to my mom and dad. One single word explains their nature, possessed. Me and all my siblings were all tormented by these two entities, truth be known I believe their mission was to destroy the fruit produced by my parents. One of the torments was not simply sexual abuse, it was full on rape, with torture. I was not supposed to survive this, but my loving God had a plan, oh how I love a good plan when it comes together, thank you Jesus.
As far as I can recall I was around 9 years old when one day I walked out to a storage shed behind the house. When I opened the door and seen one of the older brothers raping a family member, I almost passed out. I wanted to do something but was bound by the fear created by the torture from these two older brothers.
That night we all went to an empty lot in the neighborhood to play hide and seek. As I looked for a dark place to hide, I seen a walnut tree, I went to hide in its darkness. As I stood there in the dark under that tree, Jesus in all His glory appeared, first I was shocked, then I felt a love so powerful, then a strength so great, a strength so great that all my fears vanished. After the Lord met with me, I went with no fear to my mother and exposed all the evil these two older brothers had done to me and all the other children. When dad was made aware he swiftly took care of business. Though I was liberated from this horrible thing, and others were not, I was definitely damaged goods, and would be plagued for years to come with the evil fruit it had produced.
As a young child and into my teens, and very early adulthood, I had become a thief, another trait passed on to me from the two older brothers. It was so evil that I actually studied all available material written on the greatest criminals, and especially on the mistakes that finally ended their corrupt careers. Well, that didn’t work out well, at 17 I left home and went on a crime spree across California, it was going as planned until I started taking drugs and drinking all the whiskey I could steal. In a drunken drugged out stupor I opened my mouth about a planned robbery to a man that had shot someone, he was arrested and released on bail. I had no idea at the time what this man was going through, he made a deal for a lighter sentence for setting me up. The night of the planned robbery dozens of law enforcement officers was waiting for me and my partner in crime, they had quite a wait as we hid behind bushes at the location drinking and doing drugs. They grew impatient and finally stepped behind the bushes, guns drawn.
I would soon be on my way to the hoosegow, but not quite yet, my next stunt would have ended my life had God not had a better plan, and these officers not made a huge mistake. When the officers surrounded us, I was holding my .30-30 Winchester at my side, the officers were in a complete circle surrounding us and were about fifteen feet from us. At that moment all I could think about was how I had ruined my crime partners life; I would do anything to get him out of this mess. My next thought was pure insanity, I quietly told my buddy, I am the one with the weapon, when I raise the weapon, their attention will be fully on me, when I say 3, bolt through them and stop for nothing! 1, I said as I raised the weapon, at that moment all the officers began screaming, drop the weapon or you’re a dead man! As they continued to scream, I said 2, as I slid the bolt of the rifle back and the cartridge popped up. It was at that moment that I looked into the eyes of these officers and noticed something that just may get my buddy out of here, and possibly me also. I saw that they all had their eyes trained on the rifle, not us. As I said 3, I was sliding the cartridge into the chamber, I’m not kidding, at this very moment everything began to move in slow motion. In an instant, I dropped the rifle, and my buddy bolted. I watched in slow motion the eyes of the officers slowly follow this rifle as it seemingly floated for minutes like a feather to the earth. When I saw their focus was on the weapon I bolted right behind my buddy, we busted through the line, not a shot was fired until we were a short distance from them, zigging zagging ducking and rolling, on we went. It sounded like a war behind us as bullets whizzed past my head, through yards, businesses, orchards, on we ran for several miles to the outskirts of town. When I woke up the next day, it hit me, the officers put themselves in a position where they could not fire as long as we were surrounded by them, they would take the chance of their bullets hitting officers across from them.
So now we were on the lam for several days, this would not last long though, they were hot and humiliated. They finally located the house where we were holed up, it was before sunrise and the fog was dense. I told my partner in crime that it was not over yet, the police cars were lined up down the street, and they had made roadblocks on both ends with vehicles. In the cover of dense fog, we crawled on our bellies to my car, I had built the car for race, and in a few moments, it would be put to the test.
We quietly slipped into the vehicle; flames shot from the carb for a moment as I punched the petal to the floor, the mad race towards death was on. The car was flying as we approached the roadblock, ready for impact! The moment I started the vehicle up they must have decided to move the two vehicles, just seconds before impact, they backed out of the way, and the race was on. A big issue with a souped-up car is the fuel, long periods at top speed I was lucky to see three or four miles per gallon. I was probably at a quarter tank when the chase began, it went on for several miles. Then it hit me, look at the fuel! Empty! It was over, I pulled to the roadside, within seconds the one souped-up vehicle they had was on us. After being beaten, my face drug in the pavement, I was off to jail. I still remember my first thought when we were caught, oh thank God. I had hurt people, scared people, and taken what they had worked hard for, I was scum.
I fought the case for nine months, the entire time I was setting fires in the jail, starting riots, and brewing alcohol. When the judge finally sentenced me to seven years, my response to him was, give me 99. I was so lost.
It was during the first year that a heavy metal rock band showed up, I was not given the option of not listening. I despised this music and tried my best to ignore it, it is then that something strange took place, I could not hear the music at all, but only the words. I knew these words well, I had grown up hearing them every single day, it was the Gospel. When the band had finished playing, they gave the altar call, I responded and went up front. After being Born Again of The Spirit I looked to both sides, I was the only one who had answered the call. Before I had even turned around to face the other inmates, I could feel the evil hatred.
All that I have shared above shows how our loving God works to bring a man to Him, the following is a discussion of how Satan and my flesh worked to destroy the wonderful testimony God had given me. The following covers a period of many years that resembled the trial of Job.
This period of time begins a few short years after I had been Saved behind bars then released. There came a day when the Lord dealt with me about the sins that remained in my life, I quickly dealt with the big ones, cutting them off by the power of the Holy Spirit. It was at this point that the Lord spoke to me and said, “Now it is time to deal with the little foxes that have easily hidden themselves.” I soon learned that these things that appeared to be so small, were actually the harder issues to face and deal with. Turns out that it is these very foxes in my life that opened the door to the attack of the enemy that would follow.
At the time the hedge of protection came down and the trials began to unfold, I had been ministering for several years. At the time I was totally unaware that certain events that had began to take place in quick succession were actually precursors to all the events that followed over the next several years. It is easy to look back now and see the purpose of God behind it all was to cleanse me of all those little foxes that would hinder God from using me for His purpose at the time of the end.
It all began late one night as I was studying for a lesson I would teach the following day at Church. As I studied the Lord spoke a warning to me, “Tomorrow the Pastor will judge you concerning the clothing you wear.” It was not that my apparel was new Jeans and Dress Shirt, it was that a big name Evangelist would be at the service and the Pastor wanted to impress him.
Sure enough, the next morning the Pastor came to me and told me I could not be a part of the services that day because of my attire. I responded with a big smile, and quoted the following Scriptures.
James 2:1 My brethren, have not the faith of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory, with respect of persons.
James 2:2 For if there come unto your assembly a man with a gold ring, in goodly apparel, and there come in also a poor man in vile raiment;
James 2:3 And ye have respect to him that weareth the gay clothing, and say unto him, Sit thou here in a good place; and say to the poor, Stand thou there, or sit here under my footstool:
James 2:4 Are ye not then partial in yourselves, and are become judges of evil thoughts?
James 2:5 Hearken, my beloved brethren, Hath not God chosen the poor of this world rich in faith, and heirs of the kingdom which he hath promised to them that love him?
James 2:6 But ye have despised the poor. Do not rich men oppress you, and draw you before the judgment seats?
James 2:7 Do not they blaspheme that worthy name by the which ye are called?
James 2:8 If ye fulfil the royal law according to the scripture, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself, ye do well:
James 2:9 But if ye have respect to persons, ye commit sin, and are convinced of the law as transgressors.
James 2:10 For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all.
James 2:11 For he that said, Do not commit adultery, said also, Do not kill. Now if thou commit no adultery, yet if thou kill, thou art become a transgressor of the law.
James 2:12 So speak ye, and so do, as they that shall be judged by the law of liberty.
James 2:13 For he shall have judgment without mercy, that hath shewed no mercy; and mercy rejoiceth against judgment.
As I said earlier, I had no idea this was the very first act of many to quickly follow that would ultimately take me down the path of much sorrow.
Soon to follow this attack was the entire Church learned that our Pastor was not only cheating on his wife with another woman, he was totally into other sexual sins.
After learning this, the following day I learned that Dad had alzheimer’s disease!!! This was a big one for me, my thought was this, “God if you allowed this to happen to a man who served you with his whole heart? Where does that put me?”
Now that all the groundwork had been made ready, out of the blue appears a man that Satan sent, a man it turns out despised the goodness of God in my life.